How to Work on Wall Street and Still be a Good Person

http://brokeassstuart.com/ny/2016/12/05/how-to-work-on-wall-street-still-be-a-good-person/

You (Don't) Get What You Pay For

We are a capitalist society. Fueled by the notion that 'greed is good' and 'more is more' and, you know what? I'm fine with that. People will try to tell you that our society is materialistic and that wanting things, even if you work hard for them, is bad and if you indulge in this behavior you're a terrible person. Why? Well, because....reasons. Greed is bad but consumerism is good (not to mention a lot of fun!). The problem comes in when people/companies/organizations/etc deliver less than you pay for. This is becoming an epidemic across the consumer goods market but, for the sake of time (and sanity) let's look at three. First up on Are You @#*%! Kidding Me list, Applebee's. If you have any interest in time travel I recommend the Applebee's in Yonkers, NY where you can experience the nostalgia of the 'good ol days', you know, the 'we don't serve your kind here' good ol days. Yes folks, I'm here to announce that in the year 2016 African Americans, Black people, whatever you're comfortable with (I, myself, could care less) can still experience second class citizenship at Applebee's. My mother's best friend (my godmother) lost her mother the repast (the gathering that usually follows the funeral) was held at Applebee's. At this point, it needs to be said that my godmother's family is Polish. So there are approximately 40+ Polish Americans mourning the loss of their family member and exactly two people of color; me and my mom doing the same. When it came time to order, the blonde waitress happily jotted down everyone's choices, everyone except for me and mom that is. Now, before you jump on the 'race card' bandwagon allow me to paint you a picture: a table of 20 or so. Waitress who is an older, white lady goes around the table, chirpily greeting each person and taking their order. When she gets to us she pauses and vanishes. Poof! Gone. Without even looking at us (though, to be fair, she did look through us). On the bright side, she did eventually take our orders and apologize; after my godmother got the attention of the manager. For his part, the manager was very apologetic...in a 'these things happen' sort of way. Actually, they don't. At least, not unless you're in the company of Paula Deen. And, even then there are consequences. If Paula is looking for a second career, might I suggest customer service rep for Applebee's? They were about as helpful as their on premises representatives, promising to 'review the matter throughly'. Oh! Well, in that case... And then there is Dunkin Donuts. Let me start by saying that I am a Dunkin devotee but even I have to call them out when eyelashes end up in my coffee. You read that correctly, eyelashes in my coffee. Eyelashes. Plural. There is really nothing I say about this, it needs to be shown, so I've attached a picture. How does that pic make you feel? Sick? You'd think it would make the company sick but when I brought it to Dunkin Donuts attention they gave me an oppose!, said someone would reach out to me and apparently forgot the whole thing. Perhaps they're used to it? Maybe it's part of the summer drink line? Hmm...somehow the iLatte doesn't have the same ring to it as the iPad. Last up on the really?! list; Poshmark. Poshmark is one of those buy/sell/trade apps where someone else's trash can become your treasure. Think a more sophisticated eBay. In fact, I would have said that Poshmark is one of the better such apps that works perfectly...except when it doesn't. I ordered four things off of Poshmark. Two of them were great! The other two, not so much. For reasons known only to the sellers (Danielle; d_suzanne & Kali; kalimarieshy) they decided not to ship. In the case of Danielle's item, I really wanted that purse so when it failed to show up I was (am) pretty upset. But it's the other item, the dress purchased from Kali that has me so infuriated!! The dress is part of my plans for my sister's upcoming birthday. An essential part that took me forever to find. Now I have to start over and hope that I find something similar in time. And the saddest part is, there is another dress that I want for myself for the same occasion but no longer trust the site...

Breathe and Reboot

I glanced at my phone and saw the e-mail and for a moment, I froze. There it was, this was it. just as I've been fearing. The rubber band was snapping (Again). I was looking at a termination e-mail from a job that I had JUST STARTED! The email was short, barely a paragraph, and it was over via an accusation of plagiarism. I take my writing EXTREMELY seriously, I truly believe it is my true talent and I would never cheapen it! It is at this point, amid my rising panic, that I noticed one emotion that was not present, fear. Usually when something like this happens, my insides turn to liquid nitrogen, my brain freezes over, and I litteraly see the world coming to an end before my very eyes. Not this time. This time, as I started to feel the frost kick in I channeled my inner Rapunzel and realized I had the power to heal myself. First, I left messages for both my supervisor and her supervisor, second I hopped on Cragslist, found a job listing I was interested in and scored an interview for the next day. Third, when I finally heard back from my job, I argued the unfairness of my seemingly random and sudden termination, pointed out all I have done for them in the short period of time I've worked for them and the vagueness of their policies. This resulted in the standard 'I'm sorrys' and 'I understand your positions', and the ever popular 'there's nothing I can do'. At first. I pushed, knowing that I deserved better. And received an acknowledgement of the validity of my case as well as my effort n the form of a review. Not a successful review but what I believe was a heartfelt one. And as for that job interview, well, no luck there either but, rather than cry or feel sorry for myself I take a second to remind myself to breathe and reboot.

Live, learn...and then get loves

Remember that diaper commercial: live, learn, and then get Loves? Turns out this makes an excellent life motto. If you're me. Case in point; the issue of trust. Notice how people seem to be a lot less trusting these days?? It's as if everyone became bitter and cynical. More likely they grew up. The simple fact is you cannot live in this world without becoming a bit jaded. (Well, you can but I imagine it takes an awful lot of medication) now, this is not to suggest that you should go through life darkning every doorway with negativity; that will litteraly kill you (or motivate someone else to do it). Rather, trust but verify. If you are job searching and you come across anything promising you thousands of dollars a week, skip it! Unless you want to spend that money on therapy for whatever you had to do to get that money in the first place. If someone hurts/ignores/belittles you more that once, drop them like the bad habit they are. This includes bosses and family members. Your bruised heart/psyche is life's way of telling you it's time for a change. Live, learn, and then get loves... Facebook. That vortex of bravado, emotion, and, more often than not, flat out crazy, where a seemingly innocent comment or like can ignite a firestorm. It's not a broken heart or a bad day that teaches you to build a wall between you and the rest of society, it's Facebook. live, learn, change your privacy settings, and then get loves... There is no such thing as a free lunch. At all. Freebies on the internet? No problem! Have the rest of your life to fill out surveys? We've all been there; we see the free Starbucks. We want the free Starbucks. We click to get the free Starbucks and we get...thrown down a rabbit hole...live, learn, and then...

Parents Just Don't Understand

https://deepnerdmagazine.com/parents-just-dont-understand-new/

There's No Crying in Baseball

"I'm just being honest." "I need to let you know how I feel." Actually you don't. When did this country go from 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' to 'baby mama drama'? If you are having issues with your significant/insignificant other why do you keep choosing douchbags to procreate with? And more importantly, what the hell does this have to do with me? Why must I be subjected to your train wreck of a relationship??? it's called a personal life for a reason. And, speaking of personal; could everyone please get off their soapboxes? I know this is the selfie generation, where indulging every emotion and impulse is encouraged, but, could we please see less of your inner child and more of your outer adult? Once upon a time people boasted about actual accomplishments; graduations, promotions, they, etc. They considered a hard day's work a good thing. Now, if it can't be done online, from the comfort of a bean bag chair, it's not happening. Ot, it might happen but they will complain. God will they complain! The nanosecond a cloud dares to enter those sunny skies, their world will begin to crumble...at least, as far as their Facebook page is concerned. "OMG! My boss just totally chewed me out for being 45 mins late!!" #thestruggleisreal. "This b*itch in my office is all up in my biz, she just totally called me out for taking selfies at work. Thanks mom!" #notcool. "Ugh! Can't believe I'm wasting a perfect beach day at work. Adulting is hard! Yes, it is. And it doesn't get any better, so cry yourself a river, build yourself a bridge, and GET OVER IT!! Seriously, when did whining become the hot, new trend? :Sigh: You're killing me Smalls...

Upgrades You Can Actually Use

Why doesn't Facebook allow you to tag more than one location at a time? Like, where's that upgrade?? And, while they're at it, a WTF button. That would be way more helpful than a dislike button. And what is with the stickers??? What was wrong with the emoticon faces? Too easy?? Ugh! And don't even get me started on Apple! Apple makes the best products known to man...if you ignore the fact that you can't use a USB drive on the iPad. Know what else you can't do on the iPad? Keep track of your words. Why you ask? Because the great and powerful Apple DOESN't HAVE WORDCOUNTER!! Aparantly if you send a document from your iPad you don't need wordcounter, because whomever you're sending your document to will see that it was sent from an iPad and instantly know how smart you are that it won't matter how many words you used. In fact, the only place I see upgrades that actually serve a purpose are apps, and even then...For example; Cups, Retail Me Not, Weather kitty, FreePrints, Akinator, and AliExpress are among my favorite apps (Seriously, download them, you'll love them!). And then there are apps like Let Go and Lyft...yeah, not so much.

That Face You Keep in a Jar by the Door

My last roommate was a petty, self righteous, judgemental, nitwit. She constantly had to remind you how accomplished she was (though, honestly, I lived with the woman for two years and I have no idea what she does) and she always seemed to speak in Seussical, saying things like: our minds don't believe the lies in our eyes. What does that even... Never mind. Only in San Francisco. However, every once in awhile something that came out of her mouth was actually interesting. Like the time my friend Wesley was at my house for Halloween. Wes said: "happy Halloween". She said: "we wear masks every day of the year, today we choose to celebrate". Again, What? But, proving my stopped clock theroy (even broken ones are right twice a day), she makes an interesting point; the guy that sits across from you at work. You know the one, he's always laughing and cracking corny jokes? What's his name?? Is he really that happy? Or does he want you to think he's that happy? The woman in accounting who is always rolling her eyes? What a bitch right? She couldn't possibly be a really great person with a good heart and caring spirit, could she? You get the idea. It doesn't even have to be this dramatic; corny joke guy? Yeah, he is that happy, he loves his life, he hates you and the rest of his co workers, but he loves his life. The ball busting ice queen? She's awesome! She's just tired of people treating her like crap. Or worse, ignoring her altogether. And what about you? How many times a day to you laugh at a joke that clearly isn't funny, or agree to go out when Netflix is calling your name? I'm not talking about being fake, I'm talking about surviving, going along to get along, all in an attempt not to get voted off the island...

Everyone Has Their Harry Styles

It's 5am and my phone is ringing. No, it's not an emergency, well, not a someone's on their way to the hospital emergency. More like a when Facebook stalking makes you hate yourself emergency (which, let's face it, is more often than not). Yes, this moment brought to you by whatever the hell makes us look up exes on Facebook or Instagram in the middle of the night. Seriously, what is that?? Do we all secretly hate ourselves and believe we deserve to suffer? Really, it's the only explanation I can think of for why strong, confident, successful women (and men too I'm sure) continually stoop to this level of degreation. And, lest you think it's only whiny teenage girls and Taylor Swift who experience this, I draw your attention to Lisa Nowak, remember her? Lisa Nowak is (was?) an astronaut. An astronaut people, do you know what it takes to become an astronaut?? Me neither but I'm guessing it takes a hell of a lot of confidence to launch yourself into the stratosphere, litteraly. And yet, when you hear her name, do you think of an amazing woman who specialized in robotics and has been awarded many medals? Nope. When you hear the name Lisa Nowak, you immediately picture a crazed woman speeding down the highway in a diaper towards a confrontation with her rival in a supposed love triangle. Sheeh. An exemplary military career, awards galore, and a trip into friggin space! How does a woman like that get reduced to a punchline?? Simple, she lost her damn mind over a man! And what was so special about this man, William Oefelein? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He's just some guy she met at work. But for him, an otherwise accomplished woman who is at least intelligent enough to get herself a career in space (which I'm guessing means she's pretty darn smart), threw caution, livelihood, and sanity to the wind. Ugh! Why??? Why do they have this effect on us?? Why do we allow these men to turn us into caricatures of ourselves? And, the truly sad part? We all have a story like this, well, hopefully no one else's story involves involves a year of probation and becoming the answer to a trivia question, but we all have a story that involves crazy behavior...and a man. My own? Ugh! Back when my ex-husband and I were still dating, we had an argument over...oh, who knows what? Anyway, I happen to have been out of town during this perticular dust up, so our rather heated exchange took place over the phone. And, not just our phone. Oh no! Like I said, I was out of town at the time and after a round of pointless back and fourth he hung up on me (sadly, this would become a theme in our relationship). At this point what I should have done was nothing. Take a deep breath and calm down and give him a chance to do the same. Yeah, that's not what happened. What happened was I spent the next hour or so trying to get him to talk to me...by calling everyone he knew and trying to convince them to call him on my behalf. Yes, I was that girl. Sigh. Definitely not my proudest moment. But, in my defense, it might be an inherited trait; my mother is one of the smartest, most creative, caring, loving, and strongest individuals I know...until it comes to my dad. My dad is a ill tempered toddler crossed with a Disney Villan. Yet, my mom sticks with him. I have no idea why and neither does she. It's like I said, Taylor is not alone when it comes to bad boys she has a hard time expunging from her life, we all have our Harry Styles. And, right from the start, we knew they were trouble when they walked in.

Uber/Lyft and Scams Galore

Recently, I came across a tweet from Inc that said: Uber may soon owe you money". Heh. Yeah, I could see that. Everywhere you turn there are offers to use Uber, and Lyft too for that matter. The problem is, it rarely goes the way you expect. Oh, those promos seem so good, don't they? Almost too good to be true... The thing about these promo codes is that they're meant to trap you. Here's how it works: you download the Uber app, psyched about your free ride. Oh wait! Before you tap that app, here comes the yes, but clause: you have a free ride? Yes, but it can only be used within five seconds of downloading the app. What's that? You want to use your free ride immediately? Yes, but the free ride is not valid on the first day of the month. Or the 19th. Or any day when the sun is shining. And, in order to use it on any other day you must first authorize Uber to put a hold on your credit card for $500. Yes, the ride is free, the hold is just to mess with you. We're hoping you get so frustrated with us you have a stroke and we get to keep your money without providing any actual service. Oh, you don't like our terms? Go ahead, switch to Lyft, see how well that works out for you. Lyft give you a free $50 ride! Only they don't. What they actually do is advertise a $50 credit while giving you five $10 rides and laughing hysterically when you figure this out. Oh yeah, they also send you a survey: are you happy with our service? Nope.

Art Imitating Life

Conceal it. Don't feel it. Don't let it show. Ever since I heard those words, advice given by the king of Arendalle to his scared, confused daughter, they resonated deep inside of me. I've lived by the motto conceal, don't feel, don't let it show my entire life, I just didn't have a catchy phrase to go with it. This may come as a surprise to a lot of people who know me; most people see me as loud, outspoken, and fearless, which I find extremely funny because nothing could be further from the truth (except for the 'loud' part, that's pretty much dead on). Perhaps it's because I walk around dressed like a 12 year old Disney Princess...Or maybe it's because, for whatever reason, that's just how people want to see me. There's a reason the phrase 'art imitating life' was coined, nowhere is the comparison more obvious than with movies. For one thing, we are on camera all the time. Security, Instagram, Facebook, our entire lives are on display for all the world to see at all times do is it any wonder we see ourselves in movie characters? We're always saying "you can't make this stuff up" when something out of the ordinary happens. Perhaps this is why Dick Wolf is always 'ripping from the headlines, we tend to see ourselves in television shows and movies, the characters are us and we are them.

Can I Just Say Something Crazy?

I was watching the news last night when I heard about efforts to allow undocumented immigrants to vote. Aparantly, this is not a new concept; according to The Center for Immigration Studdies A concerted effort has been gathering force to allow immigrants to vote without becoming citizens. And why not? This country was founded on immigration. That is a fact. A beautiful fact! People call this country the greatest country in the world. If that's true it's because we have taken the best of every other country and woven it into our fabric. "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of the dreams." This oft quoted line from artist Arthur O'Shaughnessy reads like the tag line of America, so, really, it should come as no surprise that we became the world's melting pot. Or, more accurately, a salad bowl, seeing as we're all here together but we retain elements of our origins. And that's what's truly wonderful about our country; it's been said that America has no culture; actually, we have all of them. When it comes to inclusion, we are the grand masters, so of course we're on a quest to include undocumented immigrants in our democratic process, I mean, why wouldn't we want to do that?...Okay, I'm going to be that person and point out that chucking the rules, even if it's supposedly for a good cause, may not always be the right thing to do. Do we want immigrants to come to this country? Of course! (yes, I know there are some people who don't want them here but those people are what's known as closed minded morons and, therefore, their opinions don't count). But what is so wrong with insisting that new arrivals sign the guestbook on the way in? If you want to move to any other country, there is a process to becoming a citizen so why is it so wrong that we require the same thing? It makes no sense that we would have such a process but then say 'oh never mind, the rules don't apply to you, here's complete access to everything we have." Again, to be clear, I AM ALL FOR PEOPLE IMMIGRATING TO THIS COUNTRY. And I understand that everything isn't black and white. Millions of children are brought here by their parents when they are far too young to have a vote. They were raised here, they are as American as you and I, should they be allowed to stay? Of course! Should there be a program for them to become naturalized citizens without being penalized? Yup. (The Dream Act is spot on!). All I'm saying is, rather than allowing people to circumvent our laws, wouldn't our efforts be better spent on finding ways for them to legally join the party?

Deep Nerd February....introverts

https://deepnerdmagazine.com/introverts-and-dating/

The Best Thing I Ever Ate

When I moved back to NY two years ago there was this restaurant that I couldn't wait to get back to; Pommes Frites. Oh Pommes Frites, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways...Standing in (an outdoor) line in miserable New York weather, waiting for those piping hot, crispy, crunchy deliciousness, with visions of Rosemary/garlic sauce dancing in my head. Oh that Rosemary/garlic sauce! Pommes Frites actually offers 28 sauces but after you've had the Rosemary/garlic there's no reason to try the rest. Trust me. It's that good. About a year ago, the unthinkable happened; Pomme Friets burned down, leaving a raw, smoking, agonizing hole in our city...and our lives. But, after long last, it's back. Let the heavens rejoice! At a different location (now located at 128 MacDougal St) but back. Honestly, it wouldn't matter if their new location were on Mars, where they lead, I will follow. Long live Pommes Frites. And their Rosemary/garlic sauce...

There must be something in the water....

This week I finally got around to starting Making A Murderer, the documentary about Steven Avery, and I can unequivocally say that Manitowoc County is officially on my list of places to never, ever visit. Ever. That entire county seems to be infected with severe arrogance and profound stupidity and I'd be terrified that it would be contagious if I went within a county mile of that place. Team Avery claims he's being framed. Alright, let's start there: does it make sense that several counties, besides the one he lives in, conspired to frame him? No. However; a lot of the evidence the special prosecutor or whomever, relyed on was given to them by the Manitowoc County Sherrif's department, which is like forming your opinion of minorities based on Fox News reports. Also, while it is indisputable that Teresa Halbach's car and parts of her body were found on his property, THERE IS NO PROOF THAT HE PUT THEM THERE. We're not talking about a small, enclosed backyard in the suburbs, this is a huge car lot that anyone could have had access to. If you had committed a murder and wanted to get away with it, wouldn't an auto lot owned by the most hated man in the county make an ideal spot to dispose of a body? Just sayin. And who the hell is this Glaydis Kravitz wannabe who found her car? Do you go wandering around other people's property (search party or not) without their permission? I don't. Especially some one as shady (yes, I can think Steven Avery is shady and still be critical of what's happening to him) as Avery. And, when she found the car, this woman practically begs to be allowed to search inside, because, she's apparently Olivia Benson all of a sudden. If this woman thought she could get away with it, I wouldn't have put it past her to deputize herself then and there and arrest Avery on the spot. Nothing like using tragedy to grab your 15 minutes. But, what about all of the other evidence? The hard evidence, the "good" stuff. Like the blood in and on Teresa Halbach's car. Yeah, about that...was Teresa's blood planted? Doubt it. It's her car and it's reasonable to assume that whoever attacked her (Avery or anyone else) attacked her at her car. Was Avery's blood planted? That's where things get interesting; aside from the blood there's the not so small issue of the key that was found in Avery's bedroom. Teresa's car key that had Avery's DNA on it but not hers...that was found by Manitowoc law enforcement. After six searches. Also, the bullet. There was a fired round also found in Avery's garage (by everyone's favorite sherriff's department) with Teresa's DNA that has been linked to one of Avery's guns(I'm under the impression that he has more than a few). This would be more damming if they had also found blood in the garage. Or anywhere besides the car. Unless, we're expected to believe that Steven Avery is a nit wit that leaves enough evidence to, oh I don't know, conclusiveely link him to a sensational crime and answer the prayers of the Manitowoc County Sherriff's Department, except for when it comes to cleaning a crime scene, in which case he becomes Dexter fucking Morgan. Which brings us to Teresa Halbach's remains, found burned in a barrel on the Avery compound. Again, human remains are extremely difficult to fabricate. However, there is no evidence that Steven put her there (To be fair, there's also no evidence that he didn't). Oh, and then there's the matter of the restraints found in Steven Avery's home. Let's just say if owning things like this was a crime a lot more of us would be in prison ;). It's also worth noting that the Manitowoc County Sherriff's department was only supposed to provide resources to the actual investigators, not revive their role as world's angriest police department by doing any actual investigating. Makes you wonder exactly what "resources" they provided... So, was Anery's blood planted in Teresa Halbach's car? How surprised would you be if it was? And then there is the "confession" of Brendan Dassey. ...... I am actually at a loss for words here. It is not possible to watch the interrogation of Brendan Dassey without needing a scalding shower and intense counciling. If brains were gasoline, Dassey wouldn't have enough to power an ant's motorcycle around the outside of a penny. (Actually, I'm starting to think this describes Manitowoc County as a whole). And the interviewers! O.M.G. They did everything but write the kid a script. Hey, if you ask me to draw a picture of a woman tied up, I'll do just as good a job as he did. Doesn't mean I'm guilty of rape and murder. I'm guessing it wouldn't be that difficult to get Brendan Dassey to confess to 9-11. And the fact that 12 people saw the tape of the "confession" and believed it leads me to believe that the average IQ of Manitowoc County is somewhere around 75. Or perhaps there's something in the water. I guess I'll never know, like I said, I don't plan on going anywhere near Manitowoc County, on the off chance stupidity and arrogance are contagious.

Guilty Pleasure

So it's Thursday, aka, Dr. Phil day (my day off which I spend catching up on Dr. Phil) and I'm sitting in the big, comfy chair in my living room, arguing with my cat as to how many treats she can have when I get an alert on my phone. @realTimers responded to my tweet requesting the link to sign his position for Obama to go on his show. Yea! I love hearing from a Bill Mather (or his representatives). I love hearing about Bill a Maher. Basically, I love Bill Maher. I've loved him since his Politically Incorrect days. My ex husband hated him (one of the many good reasons he's an ex) couldn't even be in the room when it was on TV. Who needs him? All I need is Bill. While baking cookies with my sister and cousin we discussed our fantasy celebrity one night stands. Guess mine. Both of them (my sister and cousin) looked at me as if they thought I was insane. (Actually, my sister looked at me like that. My cousin is 22 and has no idea who Bill Maher is). I don't care. I don't have to validate myself to children. Bill Maher is on my "if I can I will list" and I'm not apologizing. Perhaps I should start a position of my own...

Beware, Beware, Be a Very Weary Bear...

The title is a line from Whinnie the Pooh (how many of my die-hard Disneys knew that?) but it could very well be a metaphor for life. Beware. Of everything. Channel your inner Munch (Law & Order) and don't trust anything! Especially Frontier Airlines. Or, more to the point, beware of their advertised prices. Cause there are a few things they tend to leave out. Like seats. I was scouring the internet, trying to find a deal on a flight to Miami, when I came across a flight on Frontier Airlines for $70!!! Psyched, I started the purchase process. First it was a bait and switch; the $70 price was only for members. FYI: it costs money to become a member. Ugh! Whatever. They had a non member price of $80 so I started to book that. Then came the seats. Would you like to sit during your flight? $12. How about baggage? Bag check fee! Preffer to carry on? Carry on fee! Regardless of the size! Oh, and back to seats for a moment, there will be an additional charge for seatbelts. Not much, mind you, $9.99, a mere drop in the bucket. Speaking of buckets, there is $10 charge for using the facilities with an additional charge of $10 if you wait in line (because you're taking up hallway space, and because, we can totally get away with it). As for food? I'm sure Frontier Airlines has an extensive menu for your dining pleasure. Something like; a bag containing six peanuts and half a cookie for $14. When all was said and done, they tried to charge me $130 for a flight that was advertised at $70, thus proving tha, while this narrative might be a bit of an exaggeration, I'm probably not too far off which is why I decided to skip the nickel and dime fest and booked a flight on Virgin. Which is what I should have done to begin with.

The Next Big Thing

Ever wish you could get in on the ground floor of the next big thing? Well, here you are; do yourselves a favor and familiarize yourselves with this company; www.sophatar.com. Keep an eye on them via Twitter: @Sophatarinc, Facebook: Sophatar inc, and Instagram: Sophatarinc. They are going to be huge!

Deep Nerd January

https://deepnerdmagazine.com/everyones-doing-it-10-crazy-things-we-all-share/

Rapunzel Doesn't Get the Corner Office

https://www.yahoo.com/music/powerball-reimbursement-fund-page-created-235504618.html This is the link to a former Go Fund Me page for a woman who is seeking reimbursement for lottery tickets. While I have a lot of issues with this story, the biggest is the woman's name: Cinnamon Nicole. Now, I'm all for quirky names (my name is Mar-li so I pretty much have to be) but cinnamon? Really?? Sigh. Look people, you don't have to act on every thing that runs through your mind. For example; in keeping with my Disney obsession, I often flirt with the idea of naming my future daughter Rapunzel. Rapunzel is in my top four fav Disney princesses (the other three being Ariel, Jasmine, and, of course, Elsa). Also, I like the sound of it. It's musical and quirky, kind of like me. It would be so fun to have a daughter named Rapunzel. But then I think about her. What would be the ramifications of giving a child a name like Rapunzel? Kids would tease her. Yeah, but kids are terrible, they may tease her for all sorts of reasons. But, what about when she gets older? If she decides to become an artist (or a writer) a name like Rapunzel is probably fine, it might even be helpful, but if she wants to be something like, say, a district attorney, then being named after a cartoon character might be a bit of a hindrance. I mean, can you imagine a prosecutor named Rapunzel? What if she wants to be a judge? The honorable judge Rapunzel? Yeah, I don't think so. People named Rapunzel don't get the corner office. Is it fair that people are judged by their names? Of course not, but when, exactly, did life become fair?? So, I think I'm going to do my future daughter a favor and leave Rapunzel where it belongs, in Disney. Of course, if she's born with magical hair, all bets are off.

Good Idea, Bad Idea

Remember good idea, bad idea from Animaniacs? It was a one minute segment depicting two people handling the same situation, one intelligently, the other...let me give you an example: Good idea; calling out companies that you have a VALID grievance with, say, Greyhound for saying one thing, doing another, and in general, wasting your time for hours on end. Or, Wish, the shopping app that advertises super cheap prices but then scams you. If this happens to you, it is perfectly acceptable to vent your frustration on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or a good old fashioned letter (or, at least, email). Bad idea; calling out a company for not paying attention to you when there is literally someone dying in the same establishment like legend in her own mind Holly Jones, patron of Kilroy's Bar and Grill in Indianpolis, who went on a Facebook rant because she and her group were ignored because another customer was HAVING A HEART ATTACK. This offense was aparantly so egregious she used a good portion of her wall (and, I imagine, mental capabilities) to express her discontent. Holly's nauseating display of narcissism was countered by the restaurant manager's professionalism and wit, responding to Holly's psychotic rant by stating, in part, "I especially like feedback like yours so others can see the disgusting people that we sometimes have to deal with". I assume he's using the word 'people' loosely. In any case, if I ever find myself in Indianpolis, you can be sure I'll be visiting Kilroy's Bar and Grill. And, to the woman who suffered the heart attack, on behalf of the rest of the human race, I sincerely apologize.

The Secret to Surviving New Years

If it seems a bit odd that I'm offering tips about New Years in January, bear with me. I've just stumbled upon some vital information for your everyday life. light up bracelets; they're not just for clubs anymore. Back in the dark ages of partying, if you needed to navigate the party space in the middle of the night, say to locate the deck for some...fresh air, your only hope was to use your phone as a flashlight. Only, you last saw your phone three drinks ago when you took that pic of your co-worker doing a keg stand. As for where it is now, you couldn't begin to guess. So, what to do? You have three options; 1. Stay where you are, crunched in the corner under the SpongeBob SquarePants sunggie, between the guy in the Cupid suit (remember, this is a New Years party) and the girl wearing only sparkle leggings and High School Musical underwear, 2. Disentangle yourself from these classic revelers and stumble and grope your way towards your destination (this promises to lead to a few awakard moments), or 3. Before you "sunggie-down", make sure you're wearing at least one light up bracelet, more if you can swing it. This simple party tool, once only used to fill the darkness with pretty colors, should become one of your "drunk essentials". This handy fashion statement can guide you effortlessly (or, about as effortlessly as your flashlight phone). Through the throng of passed out individuals who are going to regret those fireball and vodka mixers in the not to distant future, to the party patio, or wherever your final destination may be.