Guilty Pleasure

So it's Thursday, aka, Dr. Phil day (my day off which I spend catching up on Dr. Phil) and I'm sitting in the big, comfy chair in my living room, arguing with my cat as to how many treats she can have when I get an alert on my phone. @realTimers responded to my tweet requesting the link to sign his position for Obama to go on his show. Yea! I love hearing from a Bill Mather (or his representatives). I love hearing about Bill a Maher. Basically, I love Bill Maher. I've loved him since his Politically Incorrect days. My ex husband hated him (one of the many good reasons he's an ex) couldn't even be in the room when it was on TV. Who needs him? All I need is Bill. While baking cookies with my sister and cousin we discussed our fantasy celebrity one night stands. Guess mine. Both of them (my sister and cousin) looked at me as if they thought I was insane. (Actually, my sister looked at me like that. My cousin is 22 and has no idea who Bill Maher is). I don't care. I don't have to validate myself to children. Bill Maher is on my "if I can I will list" and I'm not apologizing. Perhaps I should start a position of my own...

Beware, Beware, Be a Very Weary Bear...

The title is a line from Whinnie the Pooh (how many of my die-hard Disneys knew that?) but it could very well be a metaphor for life. Beware. Of everything. Channel your inner Munch (Law & Order) and don't trust anything! Especially Frontier Airlines. Or, more to the point, beware of their advertised prices. Cause there are a few things they tend to leave out. Like seats. I was scouring the internet, trying to find a deal on a flight to Miami, when I came across a flight on Frontier Airlines for $70!!! Psyched, I started the purchase process. First it was a bait and switch; the $70 price was only for members. FYI: it costs money to become a member. Ugh! Whatever. They had a non member price of $80 so I started to book that. Then came the seats. Would you like to sit during your flight? $12. How about baggage? Bag check fee! Preffer to carry on? Carry on fee! Regardless of the size! Oh, and back to seats for a moment, there will be an additional charge for seatbelts. Not much, mind you, $9.99, a mere drop in the bucket. Speaking of buckets, there is $10 charge for using the facilities with an additional charge of $10 if you wait in line (because you're taking up hallway space, and because, we can totally get away with it). As for food? I'm sure Frontier Airlines has an extensive menu for your dining pleasure. Something like; a bag containing six peanuts and half a cookie for $14. When all was said and done, they tried to charge me $130 for a flight that was advertised at $70, thus proving tha, while this narrative might be a bit of an exaggeration, I'm probably not too far off which is why I decided to skip the nickel and dime fest and booked a flight on Virgin. Which is what I should have done to begin with.

The Next Big Thing

Ever wish you could get in on the ground floor of the next big thing? Well, here you are; do yourselves a favor and familiarize yourselves with this company; www.sophatar.com. Keep an eye on them via Twitter: @Sophatarinc, Facebook: Sophatar inc, and Instagram: Sophatarinc. They are going to be huge!

Deep Nerd January

https://deepnerdmagazine.com/everyones-doing-it-10-crazy-things-we-all-share/

Rapunzel Doesn't Get the Corner Office

https://www.yahoo.com/music/powerball-reimbursement-fund-page-created-235504618.html This is the link to a former Go Fund Me page for a woman who is seeking reimbursement for lottery tickets. While I have a lot of issues with this story, the biggest is the woman's name: Cinnamon Nicole. Now, I'm all for quirky names (my name is Mar-li so I pretty much have to be) but cinnamon? Really?? Sigh. Look people, you don't have to act on every thing that runs through your mind. For example; in keeping with my Disney obsession, I often flirt with the idea of naming my future daughter Rapunzel. Rapunzel is in my top four fav Disney princesses (the other three being Ariel, Jasmine, and, of course, Elsa). Also, I like the sound of it. It's musical and quirky, kind of like me. It would be so fun to have a daughter named Rapunzel. But then I think about her. What would be the ramifications of giving a child a name like Rapunzel? Kids would tease her. Yeah, but kids are terrible, they may tease her for all sorts of reasons. But, what about when she gets older? If she decides to become an artist (or a writer) a name like Rapunzel is probably fine, it might even be helpful, but if she wants to be something like, say, a district attorney, then being named after a cartoon character might be a bit of a hindrance. I mean, can you imagine a prosecutor named Rapunzel? What if she wants to be a judge? The honorable judge Rapunzel? Yeah, I don't think so. People named Rapunzel don't get the corner office. Is it fair that people are judged by their names? Of course not, but when, exactly, did life become fair?? So, I think I'm going to do my future daughter a favor and leave Rapunzel where it belongs, in Disney. Of course, if she's born with magical hair, all bets are off.

Good Idea, Bad Idea

Remember good idea, bad idea from Animaniacs? It was a one minute segment depicting two people handling the same situation, one intelligently, the other...let me give you an example: Good idea; calling out companies that you have a VALID grievance with, say, Greyhound for saying one thing, doing another, and in general, wasting your time for hours on end. Or, Wish, the shopping app that advertises super cheap prices but then scams you. If this happens to you, it is perfectly acceptable to vent your frustration on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or a good old fashioned letter (or, at least, email). Bad idea; calling out a company for not paying attention to you when there is literally someone dying in the same establishment like legend in her own mind Holly Jones, patron of Kilroy's Bar and Grill in Indianpolis, who went on a Facebook rant because she and her group were ignored because another customer was HAVING A HEART ATTACK. This offense was aparantly so egregious she used a good portion of her wall (and, I imagine, mental capabilities) to express her discontent. Holly's nauseating display of narcissism was countered by the restaurant manager's professionalism and wit, responding to Holly's psychotic rant by stating, in part, "I especially like feedback like yours so others can see the disgusting people that we sometimes have to deal with". I assume he's using the word 'people' loosely. In any case, if I ever find myself in Indianpolis, you can be sure I'll be visiting Kilroy's Bar and Grill. And, to the woman who suffered the heart attack, on behalf of the rest of the human race, I sincerely apologize.

The Secret to Surviving New Years

If it seems a bit odd that I'm offering tips about New Years in January, bear with me. I've just stumbled upon some vital information for your everyday life. light up bracelets; they're not just for clubs anymore. Back in the dark ages of partying, if you needed to navigate the party space in the middle of the night, say to locate the deck for some...fresh air, your only hope was to use your phone as a flashlight. Only, you last saw your phone three drinks ago when you took that pic of your co-worker doing a keg stand. As for where it is now, you couldn't begin to guess. So, what to do? You have three options; 1. Stay where you are, crunched in the corner under the SpongeBob SquarePants sunggie, between the guy in the Cupid suit (remember, this is a New Years party) and the girl wearing only sparkle leggings and High School Musical underwear, 2. Disentangle yourself from these classic revelers and stumble and grope your way towards your destination (this promises to lead to a few awakard moments), or 3. Before you "sunggie-down", make sure you're wearing at least one light up bracelet, more if you can swing it. This simple party tool, once only used to fill the darkness with pretty colors, should become one of your "drunk essentials". This handy fashion statement can guide you effortlessly (or, about as effortlessly as your flashlight phone). Through the throng of passed out individuals who are going to regret those fireball and vodka mixers in the not to distant future, to the party patio, or wherever your final destination may be.