Monday, April 15, 2019

Time For a Do Over?

"You have young men of color in many communities who are more likely to end up in jail or in the criminal justice system than they are in a good job or in college. (Barack Obama).

This is an excellent point that highlights the vast inequality of our justice system. However, I don't want to talk about that. What I do want to talk about is the hidden horrors of our justice system, ones you most likely aren't even aware of.

Case in Point: A close friend of mine is divorcing her husband. The parasite she's married to is an absolute f***** nightmare and the divorce is wayyyyyy overdo. However, since he filed for divorce last year (that's right, HE filed) he has been making her (and their children's) lives even more of a living hell than usual;

He Filed an Order of Protection Against my Friend and Both of Their Children: After a family fight. A fight in which he was the aggressor. (My friend had to physically pull him off of her younger daughter). When the police arrived (that's right, he actually called the police) nothing happened. They assessed the situation, asked if everyone was okay and if anyone felt threatened to which everyone responded 'no'. (even him). Nevertheless, he filed for, and received orders of protection against all three of them. The best part? Her older daughter was at a friend's wedding. In Iceland. Iceland. 

As a Result: My friend and her daughters have gone to court four times (at least), losing days at work, missing family events, and costing them enormous amounts of money to get absolutely fucking nowhere. This poor excuse for a man has gone out of his way to postpone every hearing and every trial for reasons known only to himself.

This "Man" Has Gotten his Younger Daughter Thrown Out of the Family Home: with his vicious lies. Now, thankfully, she had just closed on her own co-op but he had no way of knowing this, as he has not been on speaking terms with either of his daughters in years. As far as he knows, she could be out on the street. And he's fine with that. In fact, that would be his preference because it would contribute to my friend's torment, which is his ultimate goal (he's also made numerous attempts to have the older daughter removed and arrested).

And the People Who Are Supposed to Help do Nothing: The cops aren't equipped, or necessarily capable, of rendering effective assistance. They are handicapped by the court. They are not allowed to do anything for anyone without a court order, and they are (by and large) not smart enough to read between the lines (most likely because there is an intelligence cap for being a cop) and accurately assess the situation, leaving vulnerable people essentially on their own. This would be bad enough but the real issue is the Judge they've drawn, who refuses (or is possibly unable to see the situation for what it is. Every appearance before Judge Hon (Not sure her name is spelt correctly) results in her scolding everyone equally; repeatedly dismissing the severity of the situation by pegging major issues as simple family squabbling and, instead of holding my friend's husband accountable for his actions, which, if she were paying attention, she would realize that he is the one constantly filing court documents alleging all sorts of assaults and harassment, most of which can be easily disproved, provided Judge Hon allowed my friend's council to do so (which she does not) choosing instead to tell everybody grow up and get along.

Her inability (either willfully or due to ignorance) to handle this case with insight (in addition to his endless court filings and insane accusations her husband has moved heaven and earth to delay any progress through various stunts. All of which should be obvious to a sitting Judge with even a modicum of experience) has resulted in additional trauma for my friend and her daughters.

Her Younger Daughter Now Suffers From Regular Panic Attacks: She temporally stopped going to Church for fear that her father would make up a lie that would result in her arrest (church being the most likely place to find her). She refuses to give anyone her new address (including her job) for fear that her father will somehow get a hold of it and further torture her. At the first part of her trial (she is the only one who has made it to a trial thus far) she was not allowed to present evidence of injuries she sustained from her father or evidence that would have proven her father's accusations false. One can only assume this is due to Judge Hon's indifference to the truth in this matter.

Her Older Daughter: Has become depressed and angry, requiring her to spend two days a week in a therapist's office, on account of Judge Hon's contribution to the ongoing torment of her family. In fact, she has repeatedly stated that she has every reason to believe that Judge Hon will continue to add to the pain of her mother and sister (I imagine she feels similar emotions but her only concern seems to the anguish of her mother and sister) by ignoring the details of this circumstance created by her father with the sole objective being to inflict heartache on her mother for her determination to divorce him) and, as she feels powerless to protect them from Judge Hon's destructive handling of their case, is seriously considering suicide as the only cure for her inability to save them from the trauma cause by all of this as well as a way to escape the despair she's experience specifically caused by Judge Hon's callus indifference (her words).

My Friend, Once a Vibrant, Fun-Loving Woman: Has become overwhelmed, detaching from aspects of other parts of her life. She is exhausted all the time, angry, and cheerless. A shell of herself, she can barely muster the interest and energy to even go to work (and when she's there she is no less distraught, often bursting into tears for seemingly no reason).

I Write This to Call Out the Fact That Our Justice System is Flawed in Ways Rarely Considered: And that Judges like Judge Hon should either be more cognizant of their power to destroy lives and pay attention to the reality of each case before them, instead of just writing them off as frivolous posturing, or retire to avoid causing any additional injury to those who find themselves in painful battles on account of one person's malice.



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