Why Good Christians Get on My Nerves

Remember being taught as a kid to "treat others the way we wanted to be treated?" Sound advice and words to live by. Most of the time. Sometimes "certain people are only alive because I look terrible in orange" is more accurate. Candy (another teacher at work) inspires my inner serial killer (but, like I said, I look terrible in orange so...). When she first started working there, almost a year ago, she seemed perfectly pleasant...for about three weeks (maybe). Then came the race card. Candy uses it so often she must have sprung for the expanded deck. Someone disagrees with her? It's clearly because they hate Black people and not because she's wrong 90% of the time. Someone doesn't adknowledge her? They're obviously racist, the fact that talking to her for more than 4.2 seconds is likely to make your blood boil has absolutely nothing to do with it (insert eye roll emoji here). If her contempt was about actual issues (re: inequal policing, assuming we're all criminals, etc) it would be fine but, nope, that makes too much sense so let's just accuse two year olds of being racist because...reasons. But, wait, there's more: It's not only White people she takes issue with... "Wealthy Black people are trying to be White." I really wish I was making that up but it's a direct quote from everyones' favorite moron. But lest you think Candy's stupidity is limited to race let me assure you, when it comes to being an imbecile, she's extremely well rounded! Her other gems are included but not limited to; mispronouncing someone's name, continuing to do so after being corrected, and starting a fight with said person (in front of the students) insisting that her pronunciation was the correct pronunciation (let the record show that the person in question is Ukrainian and I'm willing to bet Candy couldn't find Europe, must less Ukraine on a map), coming into work strongly smelling of weed, throwing a tantrum because I chose to give the last cupcake from a student's birthday to another co-worker instead of her, and proclaining to know what's best for children over their parents. Add to this her other "delightful" habits such as eating like a pig, leaving her shit everywhere, and only doing as much work as she feels like on any given day and it's not hard to see why she's often the focus of everyone's ire. So what does all of this have to do with being a good Christian, you ask? Christmas. The time of year we celebrate the birth of our Savior who preached humility and simplicity...by being as materialistic as possible. Last year I was on a roll, the vast majority of my shopping was done by December 1st (I've already started on this year). Naturally, my gift list included co-workers as I have some really great ones, and this presented a problem. Not for me but from my good Christian mother who proclaimed that I couldn't give other co-workers a gift without giving one to Candy as well. Now, for clarification, it's not like I bought everyone else a gift except for her, that would be mean and, twit or not, I wouldn't do that to her. Out of the 15 or so people who work there I bought gifts for four. The problem was I had a slightly elaborate presentation of said gifts planned for two of the four people and really didn't want to hear it from Candy if she saw them (see cupcake incident above). Thus began the morality lesson from parent (what I call my mom): it's important to be nice to dingbats, easier to just include her, blah, blah, blah...what would Jesus do? (I seem to remember him flipping over a table and chasing people with a whip but I suppose that would be uncalled for. Eye roll emoji again). Long story story, Candy got her gift and it's times like these I wish my family were terrible people.