Once in 20 Lifetimes...

I want that freedom livin' off the grid, I want those three cats that I call my kids, I want that spring break that was fucking lit, and then that video taken off the internet... Though, at my age, fucking lit looks a little different then when I was 25, but I did have a break (Summer, as opposed to Spring) that was, in fact, fucking lit, and it's all thanks to Colin (Cole to the rest of you). The year was 2006. I was 24 with an also ran of a boyfriend I wasn't smart enough to disentangle myself from, adrift after my two years with the Red Cross came to an end, when I wandered into the Staples on California Street in San Franscisco during back to school season. It was a fateful decision for many reasons; during my four year employ I publicly (read: embarrassed in front of co-workers) taught a reformed gangster the word phenotype (I believe he's a teacher now also so I say the embarrassment was worth it), survived an attempted kidnapping (very odd customer), and somehow managed to make the enrire store believe I was having a torrid affair with my manager (we absolutely were not and It's my official stance that I have no idea why they were under said impression...). It's also where I met Colin. Colin is like one of those Caribbean rainstorms that come out of nowhere; awe-inspiring, (potentially intimidating), and curiously comforting all at once. He strode in each day as if he was above the petty problems of us mortals and I was instantly enchanted! Seeing Colin became the most facinating part of my day (stolen moments eating ice cream while listening to Taylor Swift with the aformentioned manager notwithstanding :) ) and his enduring friendship is undoubtedly one of the best things San Fransisco has given me (I suppose Hawaii deserves a shout out as well, seeing as that's where he's from). So why am I telling you this? A, likely because rambling is my thing, and B, because Colin and I recently added a new level to our friendship: traveling (See the above mentioned fucking lit summer break). Where did we go? The Happiest Place on Earth! (Disney World). (Though it would've been happier had it been 25 degrees cooler). After four days I have aquired new knowledge for my ever expanding Colin dossier, the highlights of which are as follows: * Colin will spare no expense in order to avoid 1-ply toilet paper... * When it comes to alcohol, Caribbean roots beat Hawaiian ones (Only one of us was hungover occasionally and it wasn't me). * Colin does't understand the concept of a birthday cake being presented at a restaurant (he told the waitress they had the wrong table, despite this being his birthday trip. Insert eye roll here). * Niether of us has any sense of direction, especially when together. (Though I believe Disney changed the monorail routes hourly in order to disorientate us). But my most important Disney takeaway? Colin is one of those rare of individuals who materalize on an idle Monday and alter your very existance, if your smart enough to let them, and I'm ever so grateful that, for once, I was, indeed, smart enough.

Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Society....

I call this story (insert throwing dust into fire here) the Legend of Beau Beau. Have you ever read The Monkey's Paw? It's a story about a man who comes across a decrepit Money's paw that grants wishes; only in order for the wishes to come true, something bad has to happen. Enter Beau Beau. After we lost Antigone my mom wasn't sure she wanted another cat. Unless it was a Bengal (Carbon is a black cat). Well, now we have a Bengal. Beau Beau (yes, his real name) has been showing up for about a year or so, but, last fall he showed up during a rain storm and stayed for three days. Camped out on our deck (hiding under it during rain) liked he owned the place. While he was out there I took a pic of his collar and originally thought he lived in Briarcliff Manor; a seven minute drive but a looong walk for a cat. Turns out, I misread his collar; Beau Beau lives at Briarcliff South, which is the complex across the street which might explain why he shows up so often. What it doesn't explain is why he's insane. Last Fall Beau Beau spent more time sleeping on our deck furniture than we did, scratched both my mom and I (to the point I bled through my pants), and wandered through our house after jumping through an open window! Several months (and a boarderline apocalyptic amount of snow) passed with niether hide nor hair of the orange Velociraptor but today, with the return of warmer weather... the Beau Beau came back the very next Spring, the Beau Beau came back the very next Spring, we thought he was a goner but the Beau Beau came back, the very next Spring...he just couldn't stay away! Have I mentioned Carbon HATES him?? Everytime he appears, it's like a night at the Colosseum; if the Gladiators were saved from actual battle by their mommy and grandma. Carbon puffs up, hisses and screeches like a banshee. "Get off my lawn" she bellows! As she should. I, too would like Beau Beau to stay off our property. But, since he refuses to do so, Carbie and I are on perpetual raptor watch. "They're too clever to ignore" said someone in Jurassic Park of raptors. The same is true of Beau Beau; ignoring him would be akin to pretending the water receding on a beach is curious, and not indicative of impending doom. So we don't ignore the CATastrophie that has bolted into our lives. We just accept that sometimes, the monsters turn out to be just trees; and sometimes they're an insane orange banshee that invades our personal space that shreds everything it touches, including (and especially) your sanity.

Faith, Trust, and Pixie Dust

Princess Mar-li was in a bad mood, a very bad mood. It had been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week. Every day this week the kids in her class at her new school (which, it should be noted is for children with special needs) seemed especially vexatious... Somewhere in the insanity I apparently thought I had the time and energy to buy lip gloss off of Facebook Marketplace (I did not). The game plan was to meet up with this woman near Emily's house (so we could go to Applebee's after!). However, Emily had to go into the office on the day we agreed on (she usually works from home), so I told the woman I'd resechedule. Instead, the woman offered to drop the lip gloss off at my house BEFORE I PAID FOR IT! She said I could simply Venmo her. This was perplexing, why would anyone take the risk of dropping off a product before it was paid for? Sure it was only $10 but still... I trepidatiously agreed, and forgot all about it. The day of the transaction was a banner day indeed; an absoulte nightmare from start to finish. The above description of the week could definitely describe Thursday...if you times each word by 1,000 so the last thing on my mind was some random woman with apparently more faith in humanity than common sense but when I arrived home that night, faith in humanity is exactly what was waiting. I almost missed it altogether; a small white gift bag with pink polk dots and a little bow. Inside, birthday cake, salted caramel, and vanilla (3 of each) lip gloss. She actually did it! Dropped off her product with no idea if she was going to see a dime (of course I Venmoed her right away). So shines a good deed in a weary world...