Why I Will Never be Ride or Die

Isn't it wonderful when you find yourself in the kind of relationship where making your s/o happy truly makes you happy? You know, the kind of relationship where you find yourself going to a vintage car show or sample sale willingly (for the most part) because supporting them is important to you. While doing things you might not otherwise enjoy is a sign that you're in the right relationship it is possible to overdo it.

For example, if you tell your s/o that sushi is your favorite food (even though the mere thought of raw fish makes you queasy) because it's their favorite food, you're trying way too hard. 

Suffering though a meal of foods you don't like to impress your s/o is amateur hour compared to, say, having cosmetic surgery to make yourself their fantasy person (yes, this actually happens) is several bridges too far. Also, if you are considering breaking the law in order to prove your love/loyalty it's time to reevaluate your life. 

Ah yes. Ride or die. One of all and all for one. You jump I jump Jack.. This mentality can only end in disaster. I know a woman who takes 'stand by your man' wayyy to seriously. Last week she was served a subpoena to appear in court because her boyfriend may or may not be involved in selling drugs (he did it). She did not take the subpoena well. In fact, while she, in fact, reported to court, she walked out just before being called stating that she didn't want to answer any questions about her boyfriend and telling the lawyer (that had subpoenaed her) that she didn't have to listen to him because she quote "didn't know who he was" en quote. 

Oh honey. No. No. We don't throw away a job, a good job, with benefits, for a man. Any man but especially one who is big on promises but infinitesimal on delivery. You've been involved with this 'man' for seven years. Okay, but what have you actually gotten out of this relationship? Impressive dates? A few, in the beginning... Exclusive? So he says.... Been to his place? Yeah, but.. Met any of his friends? No. Family? No. Any interest in meeting yours? None whatsoever. Talk about living together? He freaks out if I even joke about this... 

Sweetie, if you've been dating someone for more than a year and you haven't met anyone in his life (and it seems as if he could care less about meeting anyone in yours) YOU ARE NOT HIS GIRLFRIEND! 

It's not even like that, you don't understand; he's got a lot going on, it's complicated....

Look, algebra I don't understand, politics is complicated. This? This I get: Your man is in a situation, he needed you, you were there for him. You'd do it again. That's how you get down. Ride or die, all the way. He'd do the same for you.

Sure he would. That's why you've been with him for the better part of a decade but know more about the Real Housewives of Anywhere. 

Have fun in prison. I'm sure he'll wait.