Life Was Never Worse...But Never Better

I've got $400 in my account with more on the way. I finally got bed sheets I've had my eye on for a frickin year. The most perfect Elsa travel outfit landed in my lap. And I'm still putting a good amount of money away. You'd think this would make me happy. You'd be wrong.

This quarantine is taking all that I am and obliterating it. Writing Rainbow is on hold indefinitely (which is the last thing I need after the disaster that was last semester). In the spirit of innovation (and necessity) I've created an online class and while it might afford me a major opportunity; (opening a Kentucky branch of Writing Rainbow, which would be beyond incredible), it's sputtering in fits and starts, which doesn't exactly fill me with confidence about solidifying an online presence. I refuse to offer the online version of my program to Yonkers and Yorktown (my two main locations), which was the inspiration for creating the online class in the first place, if I'm not confidant in what I can offer.

On the other hand, the extra $600 from unemployment has afforded me some crucial opportunities; the acquisition of Disney dresses, for example (the aforementioned Elsa dress plus two others). Oh, and shoes (more on this later). And, of course, a tulle rainbow skirt (obviously a necessity). Add these lovelies to the beefed up savings, the repaid financial obligations, and the strides this has allowed me to make towards future goals (read: moving out) should be more than enough to eclipse the roller coaster ride of anxiety that I somehow ended up on.

But yet here I sit, relishing the boost in financial stability, getting my Disney on...and desperately wishing it was over.