Back in the Day....(Which Was a Friday, as it Turns Out)

Once upon a time (bout a month ago), in a land far, far away (nobody cares, New Jersey) stands a mythical castle where mere peasants can indulge in the finest of royal libations (for the low rate of $17.99) and cheer on a knight sworn only to you (depending on whatever color you're randomly assigned for the evening) in a fight to the death (or, you know, to the time limit or whatever) while you partake in the best feast you've ever had (that day).

Of course, I'm talking about Medieval Times! For those days when you simply cannot go another nano-second without donning an upgraded Burger King crown and risking an allergy attack to travel back to a time when folks ate with their hands and watched people kill each other for the hell of it.

But please, please don't think I'm hating on Medieval Times. I'm not, and I never would. Why? This is the one place (other than San Francisco) I can dress like the princess I am (cape, tiara and all) and not have people (read: members of my family) laugh at me. Also, I can drink wine out of a gigantic blue chalice and be regarded as "festive". 

So carry on Medieval Times, Huzzzah Yellow Knight!

Also, This:

Leo Rising: I want a scepter. 

Sales girl: I don't know what that is.
Bryan Owens: Bitch, you work at Medieval Times!