Little Boxes Made of Ticky Tacky

I'm in the middle of reading a book titled: Quiet, the Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. It is a fascinating read, mostly because I can't decide if I love it or hate it. One chapter I'm nodding sagely, reveling in learning something new, the next I'm seething, wondering if this woman (Susan Cain) is condescending or niave (neither of which makes me happy). She's constantly citing studies that seem to prove that all introverts are one way and extroverts another and that this label, introvert or extrovert, accounts for every decision we make in our lives; from career choices to spouses to favorite activities. Sigh. Yet another attemp to reduce human behavior to labels. If we label people, perhaps we'll be able to understand them. Yeah, good luck with that. No one is all one thing. Let me rephrase that, no one worth bothering with is all one thing. I have a shirt that reads: I love mankind, it's people I can't stand. It's so true: all my life I've been called a social butterfly, if something is happening, I'm usually right in the middle of it. However, those who know me well know that my absolute favorite person to be with is me. (If your following along, last week's post was about quiet clubbing). If this contradiction lied only with me I'd leave it alone (I'm used to being the exception to the rule) but it doesn't: my sister comes off painfully shy and seems to have a hard time making friends. Yet, she craves the company of others, almost constantly. But I bet no one would categorize her as an extrovert. I worked with a woman who appeared warm and friendly but frightened and insecure would actually describe her better. I'm also very good friends with a man who rarely raises his voice above a whisper, he is the king of diplomatic solutions, and he knows everything about everything. Ms. Cain would most likely call him a classic introvert. Except, he's never alone. Ever. By choice. Actually, Ms. Cain provides for people like this in her book too, through something called Free Trait Theroy. Apparently, Free Trait Theroy is when you are really one thing but pretend to be another. You know, like when your boss organizes a company retreat complete with trust exercises and you participate because you like your job and want to keep it. Or, the guy who purchases box seats to the Yankees home opener even though he hates crowds AND baseball, because his best friend never made it to a game last year. Free Trait Theroy at work? Perhaps. Or, it Could just be ACTING LIKE AN ADULT! Whatever happened to that? Has the world gotten so bad that growing up and "acting right" is considered a theroy worthy, term creating event? You know what? Don't answer that. On the other hand, she also talks about what she calls Core Personal Projects, something you involve yourself in that restores your soul, and gives you good reason to venture outside your comfort zone. She also points out that being in tune to your personality can help you discover your Core Personal Projects, and that not being in tune with yourself or denying who you are can lead to dire consequences, both psychological and physical, which resonates with me as I've recently come to the conclusion that my job (or more to the point, my boss) might literally be making me sick. So perhaps she's on to something after all, I'll finish the book and keep you posted.