Red Cup Revolt

I'm guessing whomever wrote the song "world confusion" was probably psychic...or more likely just paying attention. Red cups people, that's where we are as a society. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. The biggest problem facing society right now is not that Starbucks has red cups, it's that people noticed the red cups in the first place. And not just noticed them but are offended by them! Actually offended, as in so disturbed they were affected on a physical and emotional level. By cardboard. This is what it's come to. This is why we can't make any progress as a society, because we are undone by paper cups. Do you know what this really says about us? It says we have become so petty, so shortsighted, so damn entitled, that red cups without snowflakes make us see...well red. Not hunger. Not poverty. Not unjustified police shootings. Cups. And snowflakes. And fairness. (Not real fairness, of course, that would be too hard). And perceived slights. And, let's not forget, feelings. Ah yes, feelings. We feel that the lack of snowflakes on the Starbucks cups is an affront to our beliefs. We feel that the bare red cups are somehow marginalizing or even erasing, our values, our way of life, our very existence. And I personally feel that this, squabbling over cup colors and decorations like exasperating toddlers, is just a new level of pathetic that we actually need a new word to describe it. In the meantime I'm going to go find something that will make me forget cup-gate 2015, like a shot of vodka...or a bullet.